Yes, I'm Crazy: Nanowrimo 2011

Yes, I'm crazy, but I'm going to do Nanowrimo this year. I know lots of other people are going to be doing it too (250,000, or something like that) and they're not crazy (necessarily); the thing that's tipping me over the edge into 'crazy' is that I'm going to write 50,000 words ON TOP OF all the other things I have to do.

And therein lies the reason for doing it. I can't prioritise writing my novel at the moment because I'm just so damn busy, but when I look back at the month just gone, I think busy doing what? Sure, I earn some money and socialise a bit and see a few films and play with the cat every half hour or so, but time just seems to pass unmarked in everyday life without some teeny, tiny accomplishment of my long-term goals. And my long-term goal is to write.

Part of the problem at the moment is that I do write, ALL THE TIME. I write blog posts (hiya!), presentations, emails, facebook messages, notes from research I've done, cases for support, minutes from meetings and lists of all kind: shopping, to-do, the lot. And all of this writing feels and looks like real, authentically-creative fiction writing enough to get me to sleep at night and make it feel like I'm moving forward. And the silly thing is, by doing all these things, I really am. The quicker, the sharper, the more succinct I am, the better. But none of it is my poor, neglected attempt-at-a-novel.

Although, saying that, it's not neglected at all: I think about it ALL THE TIME. Constantly, without end. I talk about it when people ask, and have all the stock answers about it for myself and others inside my head. I run scenes and conversations through my mind, often late at night, to check it all still works and is still there, and usually it is, and it does. I might make some notes, or think about setting some time to do it this weekend. I might really mean it too. But none of these things are actually WRITING. I'm becoming one of those awful people who spends all my time thinking and talking about doing something, and never actually doing it.

I'm doing that exact thing now, aren't I? Yes. Let this small rant me a mark of my current frustration. But all this will change on the 1st of November, when I enter the pit and get down to business. I'll let you know how it goes.

So, what are everyone else's reasons for abandoning civilisation for 30 days, in favour of sitting in a darkened, screen-lit room?

P.S. Don't look for me on the official site - I can't enrol officially as I'm not starting from scratch. I'll be doing my weigh-ins here, I guess, and be using the website for pep-talks and targets.